Today’s prompt asks us to quickly list five things we’d like to change in our lives. Quickly list? Hmmm…. I have vague aspirations I’d like to achieve, and maybe that’s the problem: they are vague. I suppose if I create this list quickly, those items that are most important will be revealed. Deep breath…here goes…

1. Edit and resubmit that novel I first wrote in 2005.
2. Edit and resubmit that novel I first wrote in 2007.
3. Organize the mountains of chaos on my desk.
4. Find that dream house Mark and I always discuss.
5. Spend more time with those I love.

During my first marriage, I had the opportunity to be a stay-at-home mom. As my children entered school, I found I had more time on my hands and pursued my passion for writing. I always wrote, beginning as a young teenager, but it wasn’t until I was in my early forties that I researched ways to expand my skills and become part of the writing community. I joined several writing groups and went to conferences, including the SCBWI conference in New York which inspired me to work on my craft. I took many writing classes and became acquainted with various editors and publishers. I started submitting my work and landed a contract with Blue Mountain Arts for some of my poetry. Working on my writing became a full-time job.

As I moved into the next phase of my life, I divorced and remarried. I find I have less time to devote to writing. I recently exchanged email with my old editor for the novel I wrote in 2005. She encouraged me to work on the edits and resubmit it to her. The original concept for the novel was a dystopian story of a young boy and his journey into manhood. I’m torn about going back to this story because this genre has exploded since 2005. If I do go back to it, my intention is to go much darker and gear it to a mature audience. It’s a good story, and I should work on it, if only for myself. The second novel is a contemporary fiction piece about a young woman living on Cape Cod. She still speaks to me, inviting me back to the sandy beaches and summer evenings. I know I will go back to polish that piece. Her voice compels me to see it through.

If I address the mountains of correspondence on my desk, working on both projects will be easier. Some chaos is good for the creative spirit, but the result of my chaotic filing system is akin to New Orleans after Katrina. Time to rebuild. Being more organized is also the key to the third and fourth items on my list.

Mark and I plan to settle into a new house by next summer. We have had a series of transitions in the last few years that were necessary to bring us to where we are now. These transitions, although sometimes painful, clarified what we both want for our future. We tried to rush the house search last year. After we realized there was no benefit in forcing the issue, we decided to hold off so that we can find exactly what we want. I have no doubt we will get there, and I have already designed a new writing room in my head that will meet the needs of items one, two, and three.

I saved the most important item on my list for last. None of the previous goals matter without the support of family and friends. I long for the days when I can spend leisurely time with my children and really enjoy them as the young adults they are becoming. Mark and I both want to spend more time with the grandchildren and become the grandparents we know we should be. Life is very busy right now, and between our schedule and theirs, time is not always something we have in common. I know this will get better and we are both working towards that goal.

Thinking about it, perhaps a more accurate representation of this list would be

1. Find more time
2. Find more time
3. Find more time
4. Find more time
5. Find more time

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